QUESTION
Reflection: Who am I?
Purpose: This assignment aims to reflect on the readings and discussions as you relate to your own family experience and how it might influence your work with families of children with special needs. You should interview your family members to dig deeper and try to understand as much as you can about your values, culture, and child-rearing practices.
Task Description: Write a reflection on the following themes.
- What were your core values, culture, and child-rearing practices growing up? Has anything changed since you became an adult? Please explain.
- Compare and contrast your own values and beliefs with the values and culture of the ones of families of special needs children and how that might be different from yours.
- How will this be beneficial to you as an educator?
ANSWER
Reflection: Who am I?
1. Core values, culture, and child-rearing practices growing up
Back in the 1980s and 1990s in Hong Kong, the pursuit of material wealth was the top priority. My parents studied in Roman Catholic schools when they were young. Hence, the core values in our family were based on the teachings of the Bible. For example, “Do to others what you want others to do to you” and “Love thy neighbour as thyself”. Those are the values I have been taught since childhood. Now as an adult, those values become part of my personality. Whenever I face a moral decision, I would think about what actions would be the most loving and compassionate. And I realize that it is not a common thing for everyone. Many people in the society, including government officials and politicians, may hold different values. Unfortunately, the unethical acts committed by these people inevitably lead to social problems recently in Hong Kong. As for child rearing practices, it is common in Hong Kong to see parents send their children to learn different skills at a very young age. For example, when I was seven, my parents sent me to learn roller-skating and at the age of ten, I started to learn playing the violin. Also, regular additional tutorial classes are provided by schools starting from primary four. These practices reflect that parents and school teachers, who are mostly elder people, strongly believe in continuous learning under a highly structured environment. A variety of out-of-school activities and tutorial classes are provided to “feed” the fast learning pace of children. That’s why the general education system always focuses on exams and heavy drills of past papers. Students’ learning interests and abilities apart from academic performance are often neglected. My parents never had the thoughts of sending me and my sister to join any church youth group activities when we were young. It was because we came from an atheist family. However, when I think about it, I started to have the intention of participating in church youth groups. Firstly, those groups have regular gatherings and I may meet some new friends. Secondly, I am keen on exploring the religions and cultures of different countries. I believe that through visiting church youth groups, I will gain a lot of knowledge and fulfill my curiosity.
1.1. Core values
The book “Reflection: Who am I?” by Anne Mayo analyzes and studies a true and large understanding of who an individual is, particularly what shapes the core values that motivate an individual in their daily life. According to Anne Mayo, core values are the primary driving forces that manipulate an individual’s attitudes and behaviors; they may be changed but generally they form joints within the early life and press directly to greater adulthood. Mayo says that “I use the time period family values despite the fact that I grew up in a specific manner that has formed these values the time period core values seems more suitable. I assume circle of relatives’ values are commonly to do with what people in a circle of relatives keep important, so I could be describing what I was taught turned into important in my circle of relatives and what my parents idea changed into the right matters of existence”. Anne describes her family as a close knit family and the idea of circle of relatives’ time and collective work in favour of the one so seemed necessary. She says that her father believed that consideration for circle of relatives’ time and working for the more good of the circle of relatives suited the goals of the family. On the alternative hand, her mother believed that individual private time making personal success and happiness became more crucial life. However Mayo additionally says that the term values typically refers to what humans assume is crucial and guided what they should, the concept of values in the sociology and the have a look at of family is defined with the aid of what human beings show is crucial in the circle of relatives.
1.2. Culture
Language-wise, I came to the states knowing some basic English but not enough to communicate with another person. As a result, I had to attend an ESL course for a year. My parents had a harder time with English than I do. I am often used as a translator. However, my parents cannot retain anything that they learned from me since they were already in their late 40s and they further isolated themselves from learning English. I know that learning English will help me to survive in the states. But when I find a place for myself in this foreign country, I could not go any further to improve my English. I am so busy to focus on my education and to keep traditional Chinese culture. My parents still haven’t acquired enough English to communicate with people effectively here. This often causes problems. For example, when we were living with my uncle, my mother did not know how to make an appointment, so my uncle’s family has to suffer for not knowing when my mother wanted to take a shower. Nowadays, my parents feel so comfortable living in a Chinese community and can stay in their own world. In fact, the society where I live right now is separated by three separate cultures: Chinese, Spanish, and American. My parents still cannot talk to any native Spanish speakers or English speakers. “I do like the feeling of living in an area where people share the same language and culture,” said my mom. On the other hand, I do not have any interest to make any white friends because of so many cultural differences and I was stunned by all of them… I feel so much English from what I am eating every day to where I can eat. I used to have my traditional Chinese food for at least one meal every day at home. But now at most I only have it for three meals in a month. The spices in the food and the process to make food are very different from Americans… And according to Jin Feng, as a Chinese, we are going to start gaining fat from our stomach and love to eat pork and rice. I also felt that I need to keep thin; I should eat fish or chicken. However, I really don’t think the food what I eat changes the way I look. (See machine report) After two years changing diet style. Now I realize that I was hardly able to find the place where I can sit down and eat without I have getting out the car and go to a fast food restaurant. Fast food is definitely a big and bad influence for Americans’ life. But my mom always told me that the ‘fast food’ is not good for my health… Oh well, I believe every mother will say the same thing… School and education is another problem when culture is influencing. My parents feel that they totally lost the concept of what I am doing in my math class. The way that math is taught in China is totally different from what I was taught here. And the languages on the math book add the barrier to my parents to understand my studies. So even today, my parents are still insisting to find a Chinese tutor to teach me math. My father was so surprised to hear that I am on the top of the class in math. And then when my teacher called him and told him that I was also doing great in science, he said “I just don’t understand why it is so hard to educate my child”. I mean the traditional Chinese way of teaching is memorizing things. And I can see the reason why my father cannot understand. However, the school that I went to in China and my school here are over 20 years apart. And there are so many cultural differences between the two systems. That’s one of the reasons why my father is still insisting to find a tutor to lead me to approach the Chinese way.
I was born in China and I first came to the U.S. when I was 15 years old. My culture had changed even before I came to the states because of the westernization that was happening in China at that time. Even though I was born in China, I do not consider myself as Chinese. This is because the word ‘Chinese’ implies a race in America, but not where I was born. Instead, I consider myself as a ‘traditional Chinese’ because I still hold a lot of Chinese culture with me. There are three important factors in my culture: language, diet, and education.
1.3. Child-rearing practices
Hundreds of research exist on the impact of child-rearing practices in shaping an individual. I was raised by Arab parents in Qatar which makes me an individual of a mix of cultures; I experienced the Arab culture at home, however, English culture at school. According to Fathali M. Moghaddam, there is no scientific research that suggests the methods of raising a child produces a particular type of adult character. Nonetheless, many studies have found that certain types of child-rearing practices are associated with the development of specific characteristics. Arab parents are commonly known for their strict and authoritarian approach to child-rearing. This is because most Arab parents use a method of raising a child known as ‘authoritative’. It is usually characterized by high or restrictive control, with low warmth. Showing emotions and affection towards the child is not commonly practiced. In addition, Arab parents believe that independence should be given to the child as they grow older and that they should adhere to the decisions made by the parents. This is the blatant difference between authoritative and permissive child-rearing practices. But, I believe that it truly depends on the child’s personality as there is no way one can affirm that raising a child in a certain way produces a definite adult character. In contrast, most of the English parents use ‘permissive’ child-rearing method, which is characterized by low or indulgent control and high warmth. They give relatively large freedom to the child by not imposing any particular expectations or limitations, unlike the Arab culture. However, there is no much emphasis on independence as children grow older. It is usually the choice of the child whereby the parent would abide to it. This makes it distinct from the so-called ‘authoritative’ child-rearing practices mentioned earlier. I believe that the different styles of child-rearing are mostly influenced by the culture of the society. This is especially so to the parents, whereby they are usually comprises of the primary custodians who direct and shape the child’s development. As for me, the strict and authoritative child-rearing practices in the Arab culture do contribute in my journey and struggles to become an independent learner and an adult. I was taught in my early life not to question any decisions made by the parents and that I should not easily steer away from the designated path set by the elders. This is especially so to my academic studies; I was given very structured and detailed plan as to what we can achieve for each stage of the educational journey from young age. For example, I have to complete my four years degree in the given time; my father was the one who set the schedule for me. It stated there that upon graduation, I have to pursue for a Master in the certain period of time so as to qualify for a doctorate studies. Although I have my own ideas and suggestions to probably break away from the traditional route. However, I was too afraid to voice up my thoughts and these posed a challenges when it comes to making a correct decision in life and in preparing myself to study abroad as a doctorate student. On the other hand, my learning experience in the English culture has taught me many valuable lessons in my development to become an independent learner. Later in my life, I noticed an increasing intensity of challenges to the strictly imposed child-rearing practices from the Arab culture. Unlimited freedom were given to me during my studies in England; this has changed my perception towards studying and shaping of my goals. I found the English’s open approach and child-centred type of learning practice appeal to me the most. I was not asked to just absorb the knowledge or memorized certain facts. Most importantly, I was taught to inquiry, discover and critically practice. This experience has equipped me with all the necessary tools to be an independent learner and that do wonder on my ability to think outside the box.